Received Deceased Returned Card
It was the last Friday evening in January 2018 when I got my mail and saw a red envelope (Christmas card) that was returned to me from my “Step father” in Florida, marked DECEASED! I was SHOCKED! I had mailed it to him mid-December. Is this TRUE? How could I have not been notified? I got on the phone that night with the police, fire department, and then two hospitals who finally said I had to call back on Monday. I was sad and confused…but could not do more that night.
Being assertive, on Saturday morning I called the last hospital he was supposed to have been in and a wonderfully kind woman looked in the files and finally told me, “He expired on November 28th”!!! Wow…2 months earlier…and no one knew he had family here? I have asked him time and time again to put my name and phone number as emergency contact in his wallet. Guess he did not do that. I’d bought the condo with my Mom many years ago. He was her partner for 20 years and took care of her when she was ill and passed away. We, the family, appreciated all he had done, and he was Grandpa Lonnie to my kids and grandchildren, so he had lived in the condo for a long time.
I wondered what he went through? What happened to him now? Where was he? What about the condo that I own??? I found out his neighbor was he friend and with him at the hospital and in the end and took care of the body. They did not think there was any family despite the fact that there are family pictures all over the condo. I made airline reservations and we went to Florida and were there for 10 days in February. It still looks like it did when my Mom was there and the last time I was there a few years ago…just like the 1970’s…gold kitchen appliances and all!
Now is the only time there is and each instant is for giving. — AH Principle #5.
ONE DAY at a TIME!
The first day or two were full of stress and overwhelming and confusing…where to start? Do I need an attorney and realtor? Yes! Who? And Lonnie did not throw out anything; and so many papers, every drawer was full. We had 10 bags of papers to throw out. Can I donate stuff? Made lots of phone calls…many resale shops have closed…people are not buying like they used to there. Non-profits are not taking things or cannot get there for a while. I did donate quite a bit to the Vietnam Vet and was so glad they could use the nice things! One day at a time and things are working out.
I knew this time would come but I thought I would have some “advance notice”; not this shock and immediacy but sometimes death can do that. Right?
I took walks in the cooler mornings and evenings (80’+ hot!) and kept hearing…”Let it go.” I talked to an attorney and a realtor…to my surprise, I am blessed to have family friends in Florida. Now I finally had some support from people who know what to do as I had felt I was drowning. We all deal with uncertainty at times and that gets us into our fear base. I have been practicing Attitudinal Healing Principles and additional philosophies for over 20 years and as you can see, I continue to “practice”.
I have learned that worry just makes my body and mind feel uncomfortable and I CHOOSE to not stay there very long. And so I CHOOSE to give the outcome up to God’s will…that is MY belief…in the Will of God is my Inner Peace. Over time, I have learned to trust and not worry. I want to be OK with that uncertainty when I don’t have any control obtaining the answers…they will come. I let go of my fear of a “loss” from the condo and not being “known” to all the newer people around there. I had felt like an “intruder” coming into the condo and to all the neighbors who knew this was Lonnie’s condo, although most of them were very welcoming. I did not need to be known as God knows and accepts me.
According to ACIM (A Course in Miracles) the condo, money, stuff, furniture, neighbors, all my feelings of loss, fears, confusion, etc. are part of the worldly “form” and not of the Spirit. As with Attitudinal Healing (AH) “form” is E.G.O. (Edging God Out) and not of the Spirit / LOVE. I choose to be on the side of Spirit, on the side of LOVE…this makes me happier and more at peace!
At the end of the 10 days, I left the condo behind me not having answers, yet, about this part of my future. This is OK. AH and my Christian beliefs help me to have Faith / Trust…and I am at peace.
(More about this when we join together with AH Principle #8 in a few months.)
We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening outside. — AH Principle #8.
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